To You,

You were my best friend. Did you know that? So I don’t know how we lost each other along the way. Honestly, I never even saw it coming. I loved you with everything I had, and one morning I woke up, not realizing the night before was the last time I’d know you like that.

Maybe I should’ve noticed the pieces of you chipping away, little by little—losing parts of yourself every time you didn’t stand your ground or speak up. People ask if there were signs I missed, and I feel like the dumbest person in the world when I say no. It’s like I kept my hands over my eyes, always afraid to be wrong. In the end, I lost you.

This version of you? She feels like a stranger. What happened? When did it get this bad? Well, my girl– it’s time to let this go. You were bending over backwards because you felt unloveable when you weren’t operating at 110%. You have to come back to yourself—the version of you who you used to be proud of, even when you took a break to breathe.

I’m not here to pretend that the way this year ended didn’t hurt. It did. Deeply. But guess what? You’ve faced rock bottom before. You’ve rebuilt yourself, brick by brick, a hundred times over. You’ve made it through every storm you thought would break you. And you’ll make it through this one too.

Because here’s the thing: you’ve never really been alone. You’ve had your family, your friends, and the quiet company of parks you love so much. You’ve seen beauty better than any type of love from a person– the trees that witnessed your growth, the water that taught you change would make you better, the rocks that taught you to stand tall. Even the soil in your garden beds, giving life to everything you planted, picked, and cooked with your own hands.

So you got kicked down, then kicked again. Now what? Heartbreak is a language you’re fluent in. This year just expanded your vocabulary. Even when it felt like your heart cracked open, look at what poured out: you learned to rebuild, to grow, to create. You planted seeds—literally!! And metaphorically! And you nurtured them all into something beautiful. You learned to knead dough and churn butter, molding your chaos into something that could bring comfort. You built a life in a new city, and found a community that feels like home. I’m proud of you for that.

I’m not writing this to make you feel bad or to reopen wounds. I’m writing because this is your turning point. This is the moment you start becoming a version of yourself you’ll be proud of.

You can’t keep hiding away, missing family holidays because talking feels impossible without crying. You can’t keep looking at reminders of what was and what won’t be anymore. It’s time to make your own trail again. But this time, I need you to walk it alone– and be unwavering, unbroken by the weight of someone else’s expectations. You need to know that even if you weren’t enough for someone else, you are enough for you.

I want more for you. I want you to want more for yourself. I want you to love yourself so much that there’s no space left for the memory of anyone who couldn’t.

So here’s what I need you to remember as you step into the next year and this next chapter, toward taller mountains and open roads:

• You are not what you’ve lost; you are what you’ve built.

• Pain is not permanent– it’s a season, and the one thing you can count on (right now at least lol) is that seasons always change.

• You are worthy of joy, of a happy and healthy love. It’s out there, and if it’s meant for you, it wouldn’t miss you.

This year broke you in ways you never expected, but it also gave you the chance to reshape yourself into something stronger. Keep growing, keep climbing, keep creating. The best parts of your journey are still ahead of you. 

With love, always,
Me