February 2019
Hello Friends! Welcome to this month’s “On My Radar,” where I feature the songs i’m listening to, the movies and shows I’m watching, and more!
I’m late again. The month’s over in two days and I’m barely posting about it now— but I promise I have a good reason!! February’s the shortest month of the year, and I like to tell myself that if I really want to get things done and cross a bunch of things off my list— it’s best to plan it for February because the time will pass faster. And so far, it’s been working! This month, I set up a plan to pay off my student loans and not completely drown in them, I was in a beauty pageant, took a 40-hour sexual assault and domestic violence hotline training night class (which I strongly encourage ya’ll do to if you’re interested— dm me!), learned how to cook my dad’s masala rice, and signed up/started training for a half marathon. It’s been busy, but 100% worth it. I think. I hope so.
Also tried dating, but let’s be real— I’m bad at it and ya’ll don’t really care about that so let’s get to why you’re here. Please see below:
This Month’s Mixtape:
So this month’s mixtape was a whole mood. It’s full of mostly oldies, and a bunch of breakup, random throwbacks, pop hits, and hopeful romantic songs that I’ve been bopping my head to while I thought about how much I love love all month. It’s eclectic af, like usual— so just hit that shuffle button & let me know which ones you actually liked in the comments or DMs, haha
Also!! Here’s another playlist I made full of Pop Songs that I’m embarrassed I actually really like. Totally basic, I know— but you know what? I’m gonna own it. Sometimes when I’m in a funk and feeling sad, I listen to these, and it lifts me up. S/O to my friend Mark for putting me on almost half of these, hahaha. I always look forward to your recommendations.
Podcast episodes I’m really into right now (in no particular order):
JVN + Noor Tagouri, Getting Curious: How can you Turn Marginalization into Activism?
This is my first introduction into who Noor Tagouri is, and I’m already amazed. Her reflections on her experiences left me feeling so empowered— 10/10 would recommend.
Malcom Gladwell, Revisionist History: Saigon 1965
All I can say is, “Yikes.” Thank you to my coworker, Danielle, for getting me onto this podcast list. This is the first episode I listened to, and it really opened my eyes to what it was like to live in Saigon during this time.
Oprah Winfrey’s Master Class, On Oprah:
Oprah Winfrey is a gem of a human being and listening to her talk about her story in this intimate way made me want to reach through my phone and thank her personally for existing. It’s a two-parter, so here are the links
Lewis Howes + Kobe Bryant: Mamba Mentality
Kobe’s.. well, he’s Kobe. This episode is about how strong his work ethic was/still is. Listening to this changed the game for me.
AND ALSO, SINCE IT’S FEBRUARY— I’m gonna feature some podcasts on ~love & relationships that I’ve found helpful and informative. Idk about you, but sometimes listening to this kind of stuff helps:
SYSK, The Science of Breakups:
Just for background research & reference
Talks + Guy Winch, How to Fix a Broken Heart:
idk why I’ve listened to this 20 times, but I have, and it makes me feel a little better, so it’s on here.
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ted-talks-daily/id160904630?mt=2&i=1000426470011
Ted Talks + George Blair-West, 3 Ways to Build a Happy Marriage and Avoid Divorce:
Ok so I’m not ready to get married anytime soon, but you don’t have to be married or want marriage to listen to this and learn something from it. It works when you’re trying to work on a relationship, when you’re looking for what you want in one, and well, yeah— you don’t have to want marriage or be married to get some takeaways
Quotes that had me thinking:
“I’m not everything I want to be, but I’m more than I was, and I’m still learning.”
— Charlotte Eriksson, Everything Changed When I Forgave Myself
“When we meet someone and fall in love, we have a sense that the whole universe is on our side. And yet if something goes wrong, there is nothing left! How is it possible for the beauty that was there only minutes before to vanish so quickly? Life moves very fast. It rushes from heaven to hell in a matter of seconds.”
— Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes
“We’re afraid others will see our flaws, weaknesses and insecurities. We’re afraid if others really knew us, they would reject us. We feel like fakes and frauds in a world that seems to have it all together.”
— Dave Earley
“She liked to disappear, even when she was in the same room as other people. It was a talent, as it was a curse.”
— Alice Hoffman
“I mean, it’s never too late to decide to do something else. Becoming an adult doesn’t mean that you suddenly have all the answers.”
— Emma Straub, Modern Lovers
“I feel strong. Not strong enough to face myself, but strong enough to keep going.”
— James Frey, A Million Little Pieces
“Like a flower to its perfume, I am bound to my vague memory of you.”
— Love, by Pablo Neruda
“Holding anger is a poison…It eats you from inside…We think that by hating someone we hurt them…But hatred is a curved blade…and the harm we do to others…we also do to ourselves.”
— Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet In Heaven
“To hold our tongues when everyone is gossiping, to smile without hostility at people and institutions, to compensate for the shortage of love in the world with more love in small, private matters; to be more faithful in our work, to show greater patience, to forgo the cheap revenge obtainable from mockery and criticism: all these are things we can do.”
— Hermann Hesse
“Beautiful things grow to a certain height and then they fail and fade off, breathing out memories as they decay.”
— F. Scott Fitzgerald The Beautiful and Damned
“All great and precious things are lonely.”
— John Steinbeck, East of Eden
“Do you take pride in your hurt? Does it make you seem large and tragic? Well, think about it. Maybe you’re playing a part on a great stage with only yourself as audience.”
— John Steinbeck, East of Eden
“Maybe that’s enlightenment enough: to know that there is no final resting place of the mind; no moment of smug clarity. Perhaps wisdom is realizing how small I am, and unwise, and how far I have yet to go.”
– Anthony Bourdain
Movies/Shows I’m Watching:
Um, I was home for like 10 minutes before I went to sleep every single day this month, so this part’s gonna be lacking for sure. Highly unusual given that i’m an avid binge-watcher, I know.
Game of Thrones
That’s it. That’s all I watched in my free time. I’m still running my theories. I wish Jon Snow was real so I could marry him. He seems like a great big spoon.
Closing Arguments:
Okay, so I’ll start my end with my favorite quote about February. It’s for whoever needs it:
“February is the shortest month of the year, so if you are having a miserable month, try to schedule it for February.”- Lemony Snicket
This month’s been busy, but good. I’m happy I made so many new friends, in every new thing I tried this month. It really was one for the bucket lists! Also, I realized I’m finally ready to let myself love again, which is refreshing, given that I’ve spent so much time riding the ‘Men are Trash’ wave. I still think some are, but you know what that’s a whole other discussion about cheating/lying that ultimately leads me into saying, ‘Sometimes, just some people are trash’. Anyways, yes. There were two particularly low points this month, one being Devika (my little sister) going back into the ER at Loma Linda for another scare, and the other being my dangerously low self esteem making me feel like absolute ugly garbage for a hot minute. But, I’m past it. Kind of. Still feeling it’s after effects, but not letting it follow me into March.
If you haven’t already, please check out my event calendar on “Do Good Things” tab for new updated ways to do service for the world around us, and if you really REALLY feel inclined and want to read about my nonexistent love life, read my piece in “Letters to You, From Me— #2” w/ the link below. It’s February. Of course I’m gonna link ya’ll to my rollercoaster of a trash love story:
I’m signing off now— as always, if you have any rec’s for me, drop a comment below and I’ll be sure to check it out.
Sending good vibes your way,
Ganges Gal
